in·ter·de·pen·dence – the dependence of two or more people or things on each other.
This is a new word that I was introduced to this morning on a run with my new friend, Raj. I’ve certainly heard of the word before but it probably just went in one ear and out the other. The fact that I didn’t have a way to apply the word made it something I didn’t care about at the time.
Now, it hit me as something that is extremely valuable.
Raj and I met in our neighborhood and would casually chat when we passed by one another. We connected because he was wearing a Jocko Willink t-shirt and I mentioned something to him about Jocko and his awesome podcast.
I knew that Raj and I had at least some similarities and we both enjoyed some type of personal development.
When he was walking by with his family the other evening I asked if he liked to run and if he wanted to join me on a run sometime soon. We decided Monday we would meet at 5 am. And there we were.
We got to know more about each other and learn about our background, marriages, business career, and more as we went on our run.
I’m actually not even quite sure how the topic came up, but I was mentioning to Raj that I actually felt relatively “weak” for needing to have someone to be accountable to. For a while, I kept telling myself that I would get up early and workout or run, do some reading, writing, etc.
However, I was extremely inconsistent. That is what led me to ask Raj if he wanted to meet up to run at 5 am.
My alarm went off at 4:43 am and I immediately jumped out of bed, turned off my alarm, and headed downstairs. No hesitation.
Why did it make me feel weak to need accountability? I’m not quite sure. But what Raj introduced me to was the concept of interdependence.
Once he explained to me what it was, it made sense. In fact, my wife told me that it didn’t make me weak at all to need some accountability. She reassured me that it was a good thing and that it would be beneficial for me. Boy, was she right :).
And the concept of interdependence now made sense to me.
Raj explained that I was not only “fighting” with myself about getting up early, but that we are programmed to not want to do things that aren’t necessary. Our “lizard brain” as they call it has been programmed for over 50 million years and this is what we are truly fighting.
I don’t need to get up at 4 or 5 am, and without accountability, I may not have.
What was really holding me back from admitting that I needed some accountability?
Ego.
I wanted to think that I could do it myself that I didn’t need anyone else to push me to get up early.
Now looking back, how long did my ego hold me back from reaching out to someone and asking for some accountability?
How much further ahead could I be if I would have swallowed my pride and asked for someone to help me earlier?
No telling. But I do know one thing, I not only made a new friend today but I also learned something that is extremely helpful for me and my personal development.
So, thank you, Raj!